Traveling cross country with an 8 month old baby in coach?

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I think the best scenario would to be to bid for a sleeper (family room?) and see if you can get a sleeper for a lower price.
On our last trip, we were in a roomette and the folks in the roomette across the hall had a baby who did on occasion cry. You just have to accept the situation; babies exist and they will cry.
 
Your trip is certainly doable but I would be concerned that by the end of your trip you and your fiance would be in a zombie-like condition because of sleep deprivation and it will affect your visit for several days afterward.
 
My fiancé doesn't want to take our son in the plane so we decided to travel in Amtrak instead so he can move.
I don't know how no one questioned the initial premise but I can't imagine how having a baby cooped up on a train in coach for 43 hours (if there are no delays, a big IF) is preferable to 4.5 hours on plane. If you're in coach the kiddo isn't going to have significantly more space to move than if you just flew. All three of you are going to be absolutely miserable at the end of those 43 hours.
 
OK, in regards to the diaper discussion, plastic bags, people, plastic bags. Wrap up the dirty diapers securely and then double bag them and the car won't smell (well, at least, not any worse than our LSL car did from an adult with some kind of issue). It's on the parents to make sure the diaper is wrapped up tightly before bagging. At any stop where you can detrain for a minute, take the bags outside to any available trash receptacle on the platform.
 
OK, in regards to the diaper discussion, plastic bags, people, plastic bags. Wrap up the dirty diapers securely and then double bag them and the car won't smell (well, at least, not any worse than our LSL car did from an adult with some kind of issue). It's on the parents to make sure the diaper is wrapped up tightly before bagging. At any stop where you can detrain for a minute, take the bags outside to any available trash receptacle on the platform.
Yes, that would probably be the best solution...if the parents honestly have no other alternative than to use coach and if the parents are wise enough to do that. I just did a quick check on prices for other modes of transportation using the hypothetical date of December 13. Right now, the least expensive Amtrak price for 2 adults (not sure if babies are charged) is $398. Greyhound's cheapest is $336, not charge under two years old. Car rental is anywhere from $8 to $26 per day, but from what I have read car rental these days is iffy, so I didn't look further into rising gas prices and other expenses. Nonstop from NYC to Lax is $272, however, the father doesn't want the baby to fly, which is understandable. Offhand, I would say there are alternatives to Amtrak.
 
COVID-19 comes to mind. Plus as Everydaymatters said, babies can get ear pain when flying.
Aircraft have heppa filtered air that filters the entire air supply every few minutes. Im not sure that the plane is any more or less “dangerous” then a train, but the train you certainly are going to have far more hours of exposure to different people. 42 hours in couch in masks with a child though, ugh. Listen, I love taking trains all around the world, but as a parent of a small child, you couldn’t pay me to do that trip.
 
COVID-19 comes to mind. Plus as Everydaymatters said, babies can get ear pain when flying.
I think the risks from COVID-19 are far greater in a 40 hour plus Amtrak coach trip with passengers constantly changing throughout the trip than in a 4 hour plane ride.

Unless they have received competent medical advice that this infant should not fly, I would be searching for discount airfare. The trip by Amtrak is certainly doable but not worth it in my opinion. When our children were small, we flew and got the travel hassle over quickly. I probably missed out on some wonderful Amtrak experiences (I guess Seafood America was one of them) but have no regrets.
 
Aircraft have heppa filtered air that filters the entire air supply every few minutes. Im not sure that the plane is any more or less “dangerous” then a train, but the train you certainly are going to have far more hours of exposure to different people. 42 hours in couch in masks with a child though, ugh. Listen, I love taking trains all around the world, but as a parent of a small child, you couldn’t pay me to do that trip.

Same. Mine are grown now, but there's not enough money in the world to have induced me to take my kids on a train trip of more than a couple hours at that age, especially in coach. Realistically, the cost of flights for everyone is likely to be cheaper than the train between the OPs major cities. And yes, ear pain can be an issue, but it's usually easily and quickly resolved by nursing or feeding. A couple hours between walking into the airport and leaving at the destination vs 2-3 days of the same at the train stations seems like a slam dunk when it comes to having an enjoyable trip.
 
Worth noting that it's a good idea to do some test trips on shorter coach journeys, before making the decision on LD coach trip. Even after one such experiment, say 3-6 hours.. on a corridor train, or a portion of a LD route... may be enough for the OP to decide this is the way to go, or not.
 
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