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NE933

Conductor
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Aug 17, 2005
Messages
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Queens, New York
A taboo, avoided topic. But they are a part of us. You're reading from one. I'm certain A. Unlimited has more than me alone, though many have fear in speaking out.

Has the working culture of Amtrak (and other railroads) been more accepting in our current day and age? Can a man safely talk about somehing like a nice weekend he spent with his boyfriend, or must he use the pronoun 'she' and 'her' to stave off namecalling and sneering looks?

Whatabout online forums like this one, and others? My observations on passengers of two women, and two guys, can usualy enjoy a trip without incident as long as there is no open heavy petting or foreplay. Sex in a sleeping room has never been challenged, provided the door and drapes are closed. Gay Amtrak employ seems well in service oriented jobs like waiters, sleeper and coach attendants, and baggage handler. Traditional male dominated craft, however, likes of conducors, locomotive engineers, and track maintenance display no same gender warmth on that level at all, and is the danger zone for coming out, a point that is verified by personal conversations with both gay and straight Amtrak employees.

So, chime in! And maybe some of us single and lonely folk can make acquaintance on a train somday soon!
 
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EMDF9A

Lead Service Attendant
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
Messages
269
I dont work for AMTRAK, but I ride frequently as a T&R guide... and I'm "Family" too. Now I am not going to out anyone, but I know several AMTRAK employees who are part of the family. Are you a member of PSS?
 

NE933

Conductor
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Aug 17, 2005
Messages
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Queens, New York
I was, until I bailed out. PSS has a cliquey, closed circle for the initiated feel to it. My feeling, not necessarily true for others.
 
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Shawn Ryu

Conductor
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Jul 26, 2010
Messages
1,096
Location
NYC or Chicago
I dont want to know what anyone does in his or her bedroom, thats their business.

Only outrage would be if that person admits doing it to kids. Otherwise its fair game. None of our business.

People should never just blurt out that they are gay.
 
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George Harris

Conductor
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Apr 6, 2006
Messages
5,027
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now in California
I would suggest that this topic has no more place here than someone using than someone using the site to look for people of like mind and practice in the realm of religion or politics.
 

NE933

Conductor
Joined
Aug 17, 2005
Messages
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Location
Queens, New York
People should never just blurt out that they are gay.
Reread my original post andcontemplate its meaning. How do gays feel working for railroads has gotten better or easier for them.

As for blurting out, "I'm a good chess player" and "I'm a Giants fan" are both sudden pointd declaratins we are all used to. Is a fast kiss on the hand from one male to another, the hetero version often seen in diamond jewelry ads, qualify as a blurt of gayness..? No. It is not. Nobody i know of blurts their heteroness, or gayness. Often they just live.
 

AlanB

Conductor
Honored Member
Joined
Aug 22, 2002
Messages
28,406
Location
Queens, New York
[Admin hat on] I'm going to reopen this topic to further discussion. However, let me please warn people to not turn this into a dating thread or a religious or political debate. Such posts will be deleted by the staff. [/Admin hat off]

To the topic at hand, Amtrak actually has a special website setup on this. It can be found at http://amtrakridewithpride.com.
 

Bob Dylan

Conductor
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
20,497
Location
Austin Texas
Wasn't going to Post on this Topic since I dont normally do Controversial threads :giggle: , but have to say that I think it's valid Inquiriry from a Real Person, not a put on!As was Said,I couldnt Care Less what a Persons Sexuallity is as Long as it Doesnt Involve Minors! (People like that Penn State Monster need to be Locked up Forever!!! :angry2: )

Do think that any Personal Replys should probably be done as PMs, as was said this is Not a Dating Site or a Place to Express Religious or Moral Views! I know we have Many Gay/TransGender etc. Members and Folks, it's 2012, not the 15th Century, :rolleyes: so Gay Bashing and Intolerance Need to Go the Way of Slavery, Segregation, Women Not Being Allowed to Vote etc. etc. I'm old enough to remember when Trains and Busses in the South had Seperate Waiting Rooms for People of Color and "Special Cars" for the Same, and the Busses had a White Line Seperating the Front (White Folks Only!! :wacko: ) from the Back where "The Coloreds" rode! (How Stupid and Sad if you Really Think about this!! :( )

In Conclusion, We Really Do Need an Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution which came So Close to Passage!!! in the 1970s but Failed by One State of Passing! (Unfortunately my Home State of Texas was the Deciding Vote in not Passing this Needed Amendment! :help: )As the Old saying Goes, "United we Stand, Divided We fall!" Ignorance and Intolerance are the Last Refuge of Scoundrels, not Patriotism!!
 

amamba

Conductor
Joined
Jun 11, 2008
Messages
4,083
Location
Providence
Alan, that is interesting that there is already an amtrak pride site. Thanks for sharing it. I had no idea.
 

TraneMan

Conductor
Joined
Mar 16, 2008
Messages
1,126
Location
Rochester, MN
Was happy to see Amtrak having the Pride website.

I know there are a few members on Amtrak who are "family", and we met a couple of them last year on our trip.

I was wondering who on AU are family, and good to see who are.

My partner and I are an everyday people and we are proud who we are.
 

Oldsmoboi

OBS Chief
Joined
Jan 3, 2011
Messages
586
Also family checking in here.

And I agree that it is an appropriate discussion for the forum. As my husband and I travel in a bedroom and the car attendant wants to prep both beds, but we have to correct them and tell them to only prep the lower bed. Thankfully, I've only ever had polite and courteous responses from on board staff. I don't "blurt out" that I'm gay, but I make no effort to hide my husband or his relationship to me. If it makes you uncomfortable that I steal some of the home-fries off of his plate at breakfast then go find another table, it's not my problem.
 

zepherdude

OBS Chief
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
564
Location
Redding California
I think the LGBT site is very cool! I had never thought about that issue being an issue. You take all the home fries you want Oldsmoboi!
 
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none

Conductor
Joined
Sep 4, 2008
Messages
1,047
Also family checking in here.

And I agree that it is an appropriate discussion for the forum. As my husband and I travel in a bedroom and the car attendant wants to prep both beds, but we have to correct them and tell them to only prep the lower bed. Thankfully, I've only ever had polite and courteous responses from on board staff. I don't "blurt out" that I'm gay, but I make no effort to hide my husband or his relationship to me. If it makes you uncomfortable that I steal some of the home-fries off of his plate at breakfast then go find another table, it's not my problem.
I think it's all fine as long as you don't steal the home fries off MY plate!

I am glad to see the topic openly discussed. Many of us were brought up in such a way that discussions of alternate sexuality can be awkward, and for that reason alone it is worth having an open conversation here. I agree with a previous poster that it is high time the concept of freedom in America extends to everyone.

And what we all have in common here is that we like riding the trains (even if we sometimes do complain an awful lot about them.)

Peace to you all.
 

AnthonyM

Train Attendant
Joined
Feb 22, 2012
Messages
20
I'm glad to see this topic. My partner and I have booked a substantial first Amtrak trip in October and I was a little worried that it may not be friendly. After talking to a few people and now reading this thread I feel good about the trip. I also feel good that I now know that we will both fit on the lower bed since we have six nights in total on trains and I can't wait. I too steel the home fries..... :)
 

fairviewroad

Conductor
Joined
Jan 13, 2011
Messages
3,353
Also family checking in here.

And I agree that it is an appropriate discussion for the forum. As my husband and I travel in a bedroom and the car attendant wants to prep both beds, but we have to correct them and tell them to only prep the lower bed. Thankfully, I've only ever had polite and courteous responses from on board staff. I don't "blurt out" that I'm gay, but I make no effort to hide my husband or his relationship to me. If it makes you uncomfortable that I steal some of the home-fries off of his plate at breakfast then go find another table, it's not my problem.
I suspect that train attendant preps both beds for opposite sex couples, too! Lots of romantic partners find it more comfortable to have their own bunk!
 

Steve4031

Conductor
AU Supporter
Joined
Aug 27, 2002
Messages
5,852
Location
Chicago
I don't know what it is like now. But in the the first year acela started running, I rode 48 chi to nyp. The dining car crew had differences of opinion between themselves on this issue. Unfortunately I heard profanity in the kitchen, and one of the employees continued his profane discourse to another employee while waiting on me. This could not have been an accepting environment. I hope it is better now.
 

Oldsmoboi

OBS Chief
Joined
Jan 3, 2011
Messages
586
Also family checking in here.

And I agree that it is an appropriate discussion for the forum. As my husband and I travel in a bedroom and the car attendant wants to prep both beds, but we have to correct them and tell them to only prep the lower bed. Thankfully, I've only ever had polite and courteous responses from on board staff. I don't "blurt out" that I'm gay, but I make no effort to hide my husband or his relationship to me. If it makes you uncomfortable that I steal some of the home-fries off of his plate at breakfast then go find another table, it's not my problem.
I think it's all fine as long as you don't steal the home fries off MY plate!

I am glad to see the topic openly discussed. Many of us were brought up in such a way that discussions of alternate sexuality can be awkward, and for that reason alone it is worth having an open conversation here. I agree with a previous poster that it is high time the concept of freedom in America extends to everyone.

And what we all have in common here is that we like riding the trains (even if we sometimes do complain an awful lot about them.)

Peace to you all.
I work in an office of 500 in an organization of 7,000 that prides itself on inclusion and diversity. I speak openly of my husband just as anyone else speaks of their spouse. I realize that there are some out there that feel this is "flaunting my sexuality" but it is nothing of the sort. I am blissfully ignorant of other people's discomfort about my relationship and should someone choose to make it known to me, they can go pound ballast.

The easiest way to disarm people about it is to treat is as a "matter of fact" thing in the first place.

Now Republicans... they should stay in the closet. (joking) But on my last trip on the Cap. Ltd. I ended up eating dinner with a younger gay couple. My husband wasn't with me and I didn't make it known to them that I was gay also. But it turns out they were Sarah Palin supporters on their way to CPAC. Dinner ended with them scurrying back to their room saying "I don't think we should talk about politics anymore!"
 

Oldsmoboi

OBS Chief
Joined
Jan 3, 2011
Messages
586
I'm glad to see this topic. My partner and I have booked a substantial first Amtrak trip in October and I was a little worried that it may not be friendly. After talking to a few people and now reading this thread I feel good about the trip. I also feel good that I now know that we will both fit on the lower bed since we have six nights in total on trains and I can't wait. I too steel the home fries..... :)
Bring extra pillows... the AmPillows are woefully inadequate. I usually bring one of the U shaped travel pillows to help supplement them.
 

Oldsmoboi

OBS Chief
Joined
Jan 3, 2011
Messages
586
Also family checking in here.

And I agree that it is an appropriate discussion for the forum. As my husband and I travel in a bedroom and the car attendant wants to prep both beds, but we have to correct them and tell them to only prep the lower bed. Thankfully, I've only ever had polite and courteous responses from on board staff. I don't "blurt out" that I'm gay, but I make no effort to hide my husband or his relationship to me. If it makes you uncomfortable that I steal some of the home-fries off of his plate at breakfast then go find another table, it's not my problem.
I suspect that train attendant preps both beds for opposite sex couples, too! Lots of romantic partners find it more comfortable to have their own bunk!
I've never been in a position to find out. My impression is that prepping a single bed for two guys traveling in the same bedroom doesn't happen all that often for the car attendant. I'm starting to be on the Cap enough that I'm getting regular attendants who recognize me. My husband only travels with me 25% of the time, so it's not like it happens to often even for us.
 

pennyk

Conductor
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Administator
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Jul 5, 2009
Messages
10,468
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Orlando, FL
I have only encountered one Amtrak crew member who implied to me that she was gay. She was a dining car attendant on the Silver Meteor (I think). During our conversation she spoke often about her partner. I found our conversation very comfortable and it made me feel good that the attendant felt ok talking to me.

I traveled on the Canadian last December and of the small group of us that hung out in the Parlor car, 2 of the couples were gay men. They were treated with respect by the other passengers and crew. In fact, one man was treated even better than the other pax since he had food sensitivities and the chef made special meals for him.
 

gatelouse

OBS Chief
Joined
Jun 25, 2011
Messages
524
Agreed that adults who can't tolerate same-sex couples (e.g. at community seating) can go pound sand, or request another table. The onus shouldn't be on the couple.

That said, I'd urge some consideration when younger children are present at the same table. Sharing hash browns can easily be "explained away" to a young grade-schooler (kids do it all the time), but certain public displays of affection or direct references to husband or wife may raise uncomfortable questions from a child to a parent that the parent isn't yet prepared to answer.

I know that some believe that children should be taught to appreciate all lifestyles from an early age, but it isn't the child's fault if the parent chooses to defer certain discussions for a later age.
 

none

Conductor
Joined
Sep 4, 2008
Messages
1,047
Agreed that adults who can't tolerate same-sex couples (e.g. at community seating) can go pound sand, or request another table. The onus shouldn't be on the couple.

That said, I'd urge some consideration when younger children are present at the same table. Sharing hash browns can easily be "explained away" to a young grade-schooler (kids do it all the time), but certain public displays of affection or direct references to husband or wife may raise uncomfortable questions from a child to a parent that the parent isn't yet prepared to answer.

I know that some believe that children should be taught to appreciate all lifestyles from an early age, but it isn't the child's fault if the parent chooses to defer certain discussions for a later age.
Well said. Thank you.
 
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