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Greyhound Now Offering Premium Upgrade To Slightly Less Disgusting Seats
From America's Finest News Source:
Apologies to Swadian and Happy Halloween everyone!
From America's Finest News Source:
Full (hilarious) article here.DALLAS—In an effort to cater toward customers seeking a slightly less revolting bus-riding experience, transportation giant Greyhound announced Thursday it is now offering its passengers premium upgrades to marginally less disgusting seats.
Officials from the bus carrier confirmed that all 1,200 active vehicles in the Greyhound fleet have been outfitted with a limited number of More Tolerable seats featuring considerably fewer sweat stains and troubling damp patches on the upholstery, as well as increased legroom due to a reduction in garbage piled on the floor.
“With our new More Tolerable premium option, customers will enjoy a level of comfort and luxury never before experienced on our bus lines,” said Greyhound CEO David Leach, noting that the first four rows of each coach will now boast such amenities as seat backs with just a few cigarette burns and plastic armrests only partially coated with an unidentifiable brown tacky substance. “Exclusive perks include window casings virtually clear of crusted bodily fluids and footwells with substantially fewer crumpled-up Wendy’s bags.”
Apologies to Swadian and Happy Halloween everyone!