Diner etiquite

[ScottC4746]

I bring this up because on my last long distance trip I was in the diner and they added one person to the table. Being 6 AM neither of us wanted to talk, we both sat there like a bump on a log. At the same time I know we should have said something to each other about the trip. I being from a sleeper and her from coach, that would have been like rubbing salt into an open wound. Either she chose to sit in coach, or could not afford a sleeper, or got on in the middle of the night for a 6 hour trip.

Any suggestions how to handle conversations when you in a sleeper are seated with someone or a group from coach? It doesn't always happen, but sometimes it does.

 

[Jim G.]

I can't understand why that would make any difference at all. Maybe on your next trip you should take a private limo.

 

[pennyk]

I have never had problems talking with coach passengers. I ask them where they are going and where they got on and that usually starts a very long conversation. When in doubt, talk about the weather or the food. I do not see any need to discuss accomodations unless the other person brings it up.

 

[BeckysBarn]

When that happens to me at 6am, I mumble something about needing my coffee to kick in before I can talk coherently. As for sitting with a coach passenger - well, my experience has been that they are curious about the accommodations not that you have more money (or points in my case) to spend.

 

[haolerider]

I have never had problems talking with coach passengers. I ask them where they are going and where they got on and that usually starts a very long conversation. When in doubt, talk about the weather or the food. I do not see any need to discuss accomodations unless the other person brings it up.

I argee, there is no need to discuss where you are sleeping. I have had conversations with coach and sleeper passengers without anyone talking about beds vs seats. One of the most memorable table mates I have had was a man covered head to toe with tatoos...........bald head covered as well as neck and parts of his face. Arms and legs (in shorts) covered with artwork. My first thought was "What in the world will I talk to him about?" As it turned out, he was the most interesting person I have ever met on a train. He had been all over the world as a carpenter, sailor, hiker/biker, etc. He was fascinating. I finally asked him where he was going and he said he was on his way to NY for a custody hearing for one of his children. My initial thought was OK - Good Luck - but I thought if the judge would just let him talk and ignore the artwork, he stood a good chance of winning. I guess that reflects the old adage: "Never judge a book by its' cover".

 

[Guest]

And remember, there are generally significantly more passengers in coach than in sleepers. So, you're actually the oddity, not her.

I always ride in sleepers and when dining with others in coach, which is usually at least half the time, I have never had a problem. I don't bring it up, but usually when they ask about the sleepers, I tell them how they should always check the prices, because if there are two people traveling together, it can often be a good bargain and some times even cheaper than high bucket coach. They almost never know that all of there meals would have been included in their sleeper fare. I always take it as an opportunity to upsell them for their next trip!

The vast majority of my sleeper trips are free because of AGR (mostly the MasterCard), and this intrigues them as well. The majority of passengers I ask about it, even other sleeper passengers, aren't even aware of the loyalty program.

 

[The Davy Crockett]

I've found that almost all people like to talk about themselves. It is a subject on which we all think we are experts. :unsure:

If I sit at a table with people I don't know, I've found asking a few general questions and commenting about their trip (i. e. Where are you going? I've never been there, is it nice?) will tell you soon enough if someone wants to talk. My experience is that most people do enjoy chatting (even at breakfast) and I've had really interesting conversations with folks from all walks of life, that I probably would never have met otherwise. Whether they are in coach or a sleeper (and whether I'm in coach or a sleeper) has never been something I've felt uncomfortable talking about. It is what it is and it can be fodder for conversation as well.

Conversation and food in the dining car. Another reason LD travel is best on rail IMHO.

 

[guest]

I have never had problems talking with coach passengers. I ask them where they are going and where they got on and that usually starts a very long conversation. When in doubt, talk about the weather or the food. I do not see any need to discuss accomodations unless the other person brings it up.

I argee, there is no need to discuss where you are sleeping. I have had conversations with coach and sleeper passengers without anyone talking about beds vs seats. One of the most memorable table mates I have had was a man covered head to toe with tatoos...........bald head covered as well as neck and parts of his face. Arms and legs (in shorts) covered with artwork. My first thought was "What in the world will I talk to him about?" As it turned out, he was the most interesting person I have ever met on a train. He had been all over the world as a carpenter, sailor, hiker/biker, etc. He was fascinating. I finally asked him where he was going and he said he was on his way to NY for a custody hearing for one of his children. My initial thought was OK - Good Luck - but I thought if the judge would just let him talk and ignore the artwork, he stood a good chance of winning. I guess that reflects the old adage: "Never judge a book by its' cover".

How true! I sat with a couple and their young son for lunch on the CS last year. Turns out the father had just gotten out of prison for a burglary and was heading to a new job with his wife and son. You could tell how proud the son was that his father was with him again and the conversation was incredibly deep at times. Talk about a learning experience! My opinions about individuals and second chances changed significantly from that lunch.

 

[Anderson]

The easiest intro question for anybody: "So, why'd you take the train?" Ask in a neutral voice. It's a good opener, and "Where are you going/what are you planning to do there/who are you visiting" are always good segues from there. I'm almost always up for a good chat in the diner.

With that said, I understand about some folks not being entirely there at 6:30 in the morning, particularly if they got on in the middle of the night or got a bad night's sleep.

 

[lthanlon]

I've never had a problem with other diners. I'm always willing to try starting a conversation, but some folks just don't feel like talking and that's fine.

I seldom discuss politics or religion in social settings, and never do with strangers in any situation, so I generally make small talk in an attempt to start the conversation. Often, others at the table engage me first.

 

[Steve4031]

IMHO, the only thing necessary is to at least say good morning. If you don't want to talk, just don't. Explaining why you don't want to talk isn't going to make things better for a table mate that does want to talk. If both of you don't want to talk, fine. If you do want to talk, try a neutral topic as expressed above. The other person will either keep the conversation going or not.

I always try to get to the diner early enough to get a window seat. If table mates don't want to talk, at least I can look out the window.

 

[buck1108]

IMHO, the only thing necessary is to at least say good morning. If you don't want to talk, just don't. Explaining why you don't want to talk isn't going to make things better for a table mate that does want to talk. If both of you don't want to talk, fine. If you do want to talk, try a neutral topic as expressed above. The other person will either keep the conversation going or not.

I always try to get to the diner early enough to get a window seat. If table mates don't want to talk, at least I can look out the window.

I usually introduce myself to the other table 'mates' and have had some really interesting conversations. It's fascinating hearing where folks are from and are going to. Drawing info out of seasoned travelers, as well as providing help to newer travelers is quite rewarding.

One time, I sat with three other guys - all of us sleeper folk - and we happened to all be big railfans. One guy is a member of the electric car club that meets up in Wisconsin, I believe. That was quite enjoyable.

I've met some of the most amenable coach folk, as well, including a guy from Queens going to Buffalo, accompanied by a man from Nigeria and another guy from Germany. It seems they met in the coach section, as they weren't on a name basis. We made quite a melting pot for dinner! The guy was talking about his "opportunity in Buffalo" quite repeatedly and seemed bent on suggesting to the Nigerian that he not try the ravioli. The Nigerian, in the end, held with the rav.

I do take my camera to the car, so at least I can snap a few pics to have something to do while waiting on the food.

 

[bobnabq]

Any suggestions how to handle conversations when you in a sleeper are seated with someone or a group from coach?

It doesn't always happen, but sometimes it does.

If you're uncomfortable associating with those from coach, perhaps you could have your meals brought to you.

That would have the added benefit of allowing coach passengers to eat with someone who's not uncomfortable in their presence.

 

[amtkstn]

The diner experience is the thing I lile about a trip on Amtrak the best. I have meet all kinds of peaple over great meals. On my last trip back home from LA on the first night dinner I talked to a lady whose husbund work for Amtrak in product delvement. We talked about what new ideas were in the works to made the LD trains better.

 

[Bill Haithcoat]

Thinking about whether the table mates are sleeper or coach is sort of a non problem for me. So many dining car conversations are quite pleasant.

 

[Golden grrl]

My preference for meals is to be seated with coach passengers when I'm in the sleeper, and with sleepers when I am traveling coach. Gives me more opportunity to experience the diversity of life.

Still, people who use the sleepers are more likely to be on the train because they love trains rather than for solely economic reasons. They are also likely to be going for longer distances, meaning that conversations started at the dining table can continue later back in a parlor car, the lounge car, or in the sleeper. So I've had more frequent meaningful conversations with first-class passengers. Of course, I have more sleeper car long-distance train experience than coach since I've typically lived in areas only served by LD trains at stations not at origination or termination points.

... And then there was that one guy, on the Texas Eagle in the sleeper, who said perhaps 10 words in over two days aboard. Never made eye contact with anyone. His body language made it clear he wished not to interact. Sharing a meal with him at the table was tough, but the other 3 of us in that ad hoc setting still managed to have an agreeable conversation while he concentrated on his book. Maybe he enjoyed hearing our discussion, maybe not. Just shows, though, some people really, really don't want to talk. We are all diffferent, and there again, I got to experience the diversity of life.

 

[MiRider]

I really enjoy this forum and ,as a relatively new train enthusiast, have learned a lot about train travel.

I have to say that I'm appalled at some in your belief that you are somehow better than someone because you buy sleeper accommodations.

I've looked everywhere on the Amtrak site and I've yet to find the words FIRST CLASS in relation to any ticket or accommodation available on their trains.

I happen to love riding in coach and can well afford to buy other accommodations but I prefer the freedom coach affords me.

I'm also a cheapskate and don't think the sleeping accommodations are comfortable enough to warrant the expense and they certainly don't make me feel *classier*

I eat at least 2 of my meals in the dining car and tip VERY well so the staff always looks forward to seeing me again

I also know how to make small talk with anyone - then, again, I don't think I'm better than anyone else and vice versa.

Funny thing, on my last TE trip, the ONLY customers during both of my meals were my fellow low class coach passengers.

The LSA told me that they had only 8 sleeper, oops, first class passengers on the train.

/rant

 

[guest]

I really enjoy this forum and ,as a relatively new train enthusiast, have learned a lot about train travel.

I have to say that I'm appalled at some in your belief that you are somehow better than someone because you buy sleeper accommodations.

I've looked everywhere on the Amtrak site and I've yet to find the words FIRST CLASS in relation to any ticket or accommodation available on their trains.

I happen to love riding in coach and can well afford to buy other accommodations but I prefer the freedom coach affords me.

I'm also a cheapskate and don't think the sleeping accommodations are comfortable enough to warrant the expense and they certainly don't make me feel *classier*

I eat at least 2 of my meals in the dining car and tip VERY well so the staff always looks forward to seeing me again

I also know how to make small talk with anyone - then, again, I don't think I'm better than anyone else and vice versa.

Funny thing, on my last TE trip, the ONLY customers during both of my meals were my fellow low class coach passengers.

The LSA told me that they had only 8 sleeper, oops, first class passengers on the train.

/rant

Acela Express has first class accomodations.

 

[Devil's Advocate]

I bring this up because on my last long distance trip I was in the diner and they added one person to the table. Being 6 AM neither of us wanted to talk, we both sat there like a bump on a log. At the same time I know we should have said something to each other about the trip. I being from a sleeper and her from coach, that would have been like rubbing salt into an open wound. Either she chose to sit in coach, or could not afford a sleeper, or got on in the middle of the night for a 6 hour trip.

Any suggestions how to handle conversations when you in a sleeper are seated with someone or a group from coach? It doesn't always happen, but sometimes it does.

It's one thing to be affected by class divisions when you're passing a crippled and homeless beggar in a third world dump as you enter the elaborate marbled facade of a five star hotel. But this whole sleeper vs coach nonsense is starting to get a little ridiculous. Just because someone picked a $100 coach ticket over a $1,000 sleeper ticket does not make them poor. For all you know they were willing and able to pay for a sleeper ticket but no compartments were left to purchase. Or maybe they don't consider a ten fold increase to be a good value. They could simply be employing a coach ticket to reach the next zone where their AGR bedroom award will kick in. Or maybe they were doing well financially until they suffered their first serious medical injury or legal complication and lost most of their wealth as they fell through our deteriorating safety net. Or maybe they really are hard up for money and can't afford to enjoy the same luxuries you take for granted. Even then what possible difference would it make?

I don't think this has to do with class so much as simple social etiquette. It's just good manners to initiate simple pleasantries such as "good morning" or even just "hello" with a smile. Beyond that you're not obligated to do anything more than nod at the response or answer a quick question or two. If you *want* to continue the conservation it's fine to add another couple comments about neutral subjects to see if the other person is interested in talking as well and to get a feel for their disposition. If you don't want to continue the conversation you can simply continue to smile or nod upon any further input and let the conversation die on its own. If that doesn't work you can remark that you're not quite awake yet or that you're low on energy. Eventually the other person should get the hint that you're not interested in talking further.

Otherwise what is there to worry about? Even if the coach vs. sleeper topic comes up I don't see what the problem is. Either they like coach or they don't like it or they're indifferent. The only way your comments would be like "rubbing salt in an open wound" is if you were rude and insensitive about it. You can give your opinion on sleepers and coach travel so long as you're respectful about it. Act like a reasonable gentleman and there will be nothing to worry about. If I'm going to worry about being seated next to anyone in the diner it would zealots and bigots. It's only conversations with people like those which I actually worry about. Few things in this world disgust me more than a person of the same race and/or social class assuming I must be just as suspicious and hateful toward all the same groups they are. Talking about simple subjects like coach vs. sleeper accommodations is a piece of cake by comparison. ^_^

 

[TimePeace]

I go with the consensus here, that any difference between a coach and a sleeper passenger exists only the mind of an individual. I have traveled quite a few times in both, and have enjoyed the diner conversations in both.

I am more likely to be influenced by someone's appearance and behavior than by what their accomodations are. I have seen many polite and well dressed, or at least neat and clean, coach passengers - and I've seen sleeper passengers in their bathrobes and pajamas.

They're all just folks and I usually enjoy the conversations - and in fact that is one of the reasons I like train travel: people will talk to you.

Enjoy!

 

[buck1108]

I go with the consensus here, that any difference between a coach and a sleeper passenger exists only the mind of an individual. I have traveled quite a few times in both, and have enjoyed the diner conversations in both.

I am more likely to be influenced by someone's appearance and behavior than by what their accomodations are. I have seen many polite and well dressed, or at least neat and clean, coach passengers - and I've seen sleeper passengers in their bathrobes and pajamas.

They're all just folks and I usually enjoy the conversations - and in fact that is one of the reasons I like train travel: people will talk to you.

Enjoy!

I agree!

In fact, this is probably too much thought for something that ought to be effortless and fun!

If someone doesn't want to talk, nothing against them...just live and let live and go on and appreciate those special, magical moments when they happen.

 

[TraneMan]

I've travled both ways, and have no issues where the table mate is riding.. I bring up a basic talk like, "where you going to. Where you come from... What you do for living?" and rest goes from there!

 

[amamba]

I've looked everywhere on the Amtrak site and I've yet to find the words FIRST CLASS in relation to any ticket or accommodation available on their trains.

May I introduce you to Acela First Class service, offered by amtrak.

http://www.amtrak.com/servlet/ContentServer?c=AM_Accommodation_C&pagename=am%2FLayout&cid=1241210575965

And more information on Acela First Class Dining:

http://www.amtrak.com/servlet/ContentServer?c=Page&pagename=am%2FLayout&cid=1241337915316

You are welcome.

Now, while I agree that there is definitely a bias or an enouragement by posters for folks to upgrade whenever possible, I think there are only a few that would look down their noses at coach passengers. I am sorry if that is the general vibe you have gotten from the board, because I can assure you that I am certainly not trying to portray that vibe and most others aren't either.

 

[Shawn Ryu]

I have never used sleeper in my life, and I did quite a lot of LD travelling.

Therefore I must be poor. :giggle:

 

[MiRider]

Ah, I see, but the Acela Express is an expensive, elite commuter service with business and first class seating only and no sleeping accommodations so one wouldn't have to worry about mingling with the unwashed masses in the non-existent dining car on those particular trains.

The prices alone pretty much preclude people on a budget from riding the Acela Express..

I should have worded my comment to include 'sleeping accommodations only' as this conversation is about LD trains and dining car etiquette when confronted with lowly, coach passengers at your table.

From my viewpoint, there are more than a few on this site who are rude, elitist, and condescending but....

the majority tend to be pretty darn nice, insightful, and helpful.

I still enjoy it here a lot and will continue to do so.

I've looked everywhere on the Amtrak site and I've yet to find the words FIRST CLASS in relation to any ticket or accommodation available on their trains.

May I introduce you to Acela First Class service, offered by amtrak.

http://www.amtrak.co...d=1241210575965

And more information on Acela First Class Dining:

http://www.amtrak.co...d=1241337915316

You are welcome.

Now, while I agree that there is definitely a bias or an enouragement by posters for folks to upgrade whenever possible, I think there are only a few that would look down their noses at coach passengers. I am sorry if that is the general vibe you have gotten from the board, because I can assure you that I am certainly not trying to portray that vibe and most others aren't either.